Life seems to come at me fast. Yet some days I look back and cannot help but feel like I did nothing, that the day was a waste. After attempting to reconcile those views I have come to a working hypothesis. Life is passing me by because the things that occupy my time I relegate to obscurity (the resolution comes in the next post). As I write this it hardly seems like a unique or novel thought. So why has it taken me so long to come up with? Why do I think it is worth writing about? Why do I feel better at the end of days where I am conscious of it?
I think it is because we all know that we do things day in and day out that are not what we would choose to do every day.
"We the American working population
Hate the nine to five day-in day-out
We'd rather be supporting ourselves
By being paid to perfect the past times
That we have harbored based solely on the fact
That it makes us smile if it sounds dope" -Aesop Rock
But I am not talking solely about monetary concerns; I mean the administrative aspects of our life (what a horrible analogy to work). The minutiae of daily life is what irks me. For example, I wake up at 6am, I walk dogs, eat breakfast, maybe get in some push/sit-ups, shower and I am out of the house by 7:35. I get to work by 9am, work until 5:30 take the metro back, workout, get home make dinner and it is 8:30 or 9pm.
I told my mom I was surprised/shocked by the lack of free time I have now that I have started a job. I came to D.C. thinking I will work from 9-5:30. In the morning I was planning on running, or studying for the LSATs. In the evening I thought I would be able to work out, blog, and explore the city. To my utter astonishment my work in D.C. does not allow me these luxuries. For the first few weeks I was disheartened.
I think the LSAT studying is affecting how I see it because I started to think of it as a logic game.
I have 24 hours. Each hour I can do one thing.
• From 7:35am-7:00pm I am either working or riding the metro. That means I have an hour and a half in the morning and let’s say 3-4 hours in the evening (I try to get 7-8 hours of sleep to get strong).
• The second rule is composed of the minutia of daily life. Walking the dog, making breakfast, lunch, and dinner (plus a few snacks), showering/getting ready, etc.
• The third rule is a conditional if I workout then I must shower, which leaves me with about an hour or two before I go to bed.
• The fourth rule is if I go out then I cannot workout, the contra-positive is if I workout then I cannot go out.
• Fifth rule is if I study for the LSAT then I cannot blog, if I blog I cannot study for the LSAT.
The trade-offs are really what kills me because I go to bed thinking there is always more I need or want to do.
In other words I have a set amount of time in which to do things, unfortunately there is not enough time in the day. So I have to prioritize; I have to create a calendar.
When I tell my mother (the lovely Regina Heilman-Ryan) she responds somewhat baffled by my astonishment, “yes hunny, that is life.”
to be continued...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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